Chapter Twenty: 20 Things I Learned in 20 Years


7305 days, 20 trips around the sun and 2 decades… Today I finally turn 20 and I can’t even begin to express my emotions to you. I am so happy and so over the moon excited, but at the same time, a little part of me will miss 19. Nineteen to twenty is a big leap. I still can’t believe that I’m finally joining the young adulthood club. I’m not a teen anymore? It won’t sink in. I still love watching Tom & Jerry. I’m not complaining that I turned a year older though. I’m just not ready yet but I know I have to.

So far, 20 years living in this world was fulfilling. It feels great to wake up on the day of your 20th birthday, still breathing, still alive and kickin’ and still blessed! For 2 decades, I’ve learned quite few things that changed my perspective in life. Lessons from other people, from experiences and from self.


Always be nice. To everyone. Not just to your professors, boss, other superiors, but also to the guards for opening the door for you. to the waiters for cleaning up the table and serving food. To the utility for maintaining your area and bathrooms clean. Be kind, because kindness always wins.


Give as much as you receive: Give your love, time, presence, and power. Use your skills to help others. Pay it forward and buy someone a nice little gift, even if it’s just a coffee or tea. It means a lot to others and it shows them you care. Do good and good will come to you (well, most of the time).


Follow your heart but don’t lose your mind. Trust your gut, and don’t be naive. If something feels sketchy to you, it’s definitely sketchy. People are nice, but some people are not. Be careful.


Learn to love and accept yourself. Because “the quirky things are what make you beautiful.” This was something that I really learned this past year. I think we all struggle with body image and body positivity in some form or another and this is something we need to change. We are walking miracles and we need to acknowledge that! We need to start loving ourselves for who we are, and not who we want to be. We need to find self-love in order to be at peace with all that is around us.


Don’t be too worried. No one expects you to plan out your whole future. At the end it always changes anyway, so just enjoy your life and let things happen. We all do it, we think long term and focus on what’s ahead. When we’re in school, we think about university, when we’re in university, we think about getting a job etc etc. Sometimes, it’s best just to put all those thoughts and worries to the back of your head and just take everything happening around you in your stride and enjoy it!


Surround yourself with the most positive and uplifting people: We have no time for negativity, plain and simple. If you want to live your best life and be surrounded by others who want the same things as you, then find them. Make changes in your life if you need to find your people. Optimism is contagious, and it spreads. When you are around these people, you’ll be like that too. Positivity is a choice and way of life, always find the bright side, it’s as simple as that. Just choose to see the bright side in any situation and you are bound for success.


If you’re drifting from your friends, there’s a reason. Either accept it and let it happen or fight for the people you truly want in your life. People come and go, not all friends are meant to last.


Spend enough time with your family and show them your love and appreciation. Because one day it’s maybe too late. Oh! And return your mum’s calls!


Appreciate the little things in life and be grateful. Appreciate everything you have. You never know when it’ll all be gone. Don’t take anything for granted. ALWAYS be grateful. Yes, yes this is one of the generic things that everyone says but it’s so true! We get so caught up in worldly affairs that we forget to appreciate the wonderful things and people around us.


Don’t let your mental health define you.


Find the things that make you happy and do more of it, truly cherish each and every day, because things change. Fast.


You can’t make everyone happy and not everyone is going to like you. That’s life. People will talk about you behind your back. Their lives are so boring and pathetic that they just can’t keep your name out of their mouths. It’s kinda like being famous 😉


There will be bad times, but it will get better. You’ll feel sad and lonely and yes you’ll cry your eyes out but it’ll get better. Believe it or not. This is the truth, there’s no denying. Obviously when you’re in a difficult situation, you think everything is going wrong and there’s no coming out of it but I promise you, it will get better and you’ll look back at the situation you were in and think ‘why was I so worried?’ Everything happens for a reason and that difficult situation will always open another door for you, a door that you might not even have expected.


Anything you set your mind to, you CAN do: Don’t doubt yourself and be your own biggest cheer leader, and don’t give up. It takes will power and stamina, but just keep going. Challenge yourself from time to time and don’t underestimate yourself!


Don’t let opportunities slip away. Grab it! We always have “what ifs”. But consider thinking all the possible things that will happen if you accept an offer that you are dying to have! Or maybe you’re afraid to say yes because of self-doubts that you may not succeed or whatever. You will never know something unless you try!

As Audrey Hepburn once said:

“Opportunities don’t often come along. So when they do, you have to grab them.”


Take care of yourself: This has been a big one this past year. I had to learn hard and fast that you need to take care of yourself and put yourself before others to truly be healthy, happy, and centred. If you don’t practice this already you need to. It shouldn’t even be on option! It’s also okay to let others help you! We weren’t put on this earth to do everything alone. Accept help from others and tell them thank you. Accept help in all aspect of your life and admit it to others when you need the help.


You’ll make mistakes and that’s okay. Learn from it and move on. There is always room for improvement and growth. Take any opportunity you can to learn and expand yourself. Ask anyone that you are close to or work with, how you can become better. And actually, accept and acknowledge what they have to say. It might not be what you want to hear, but it might be what you need to hear.


The way people treat you has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with them. You have no idea what they’re going through or what they’ve been through. This is another genetic one but it’s so important! Sometimes the people that seem the coldest are often the ones that have the warmest hearts.


Tell people what’s on your mind: Learn how to communicate. Truly communicate. Learn how to speak calmly, clearly, and fairly. You have no idea how important it’s going to be one day. Express your thoughts, feelings and emotions to others. Have an open communication channel that goes both ways. There is nothing worse than wanting to talk to someone and get something off of your chest, but they just don’t listen or pay attention to you.


Don’t rely your happiness in other people. Some things are temporary. Even this human life God lent us is just temporary. What if the person you relied on decides to walk away? How will you cope up? Happiness and love should always start from yourself. You’re responsible for your own happiness. Never ever leave your happiness in someone else’s hand!

So these are 20 things I learned during the past years. Of course, there are loads more, but these were the first 20 that came to my mind!

I hope you guys enjoyed this blog post, don’t forget to like and follow my blog! 💗

Which are the most important things you’ve learned? Do you share some of these aspects or is your list completely different? Talk to me in the comments below! 🥰

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This blog is NOT sponsored and all opinions are my own.


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